This morning, my mother mentioned that the Mega Millions game is up to something like $266 million. She had some story about how she was in the store buying her tickets and some man was talking to her. There was some exchange where she said that if she wins, everyone wins. The guy was confused. She tried to explain it this way:
Mom: There’s a saying in Italian. I don’t know what it is. But it’s something like, if you have a loaf of bread and don’t share it, tomorrow when you don’t have bread and someone else has bread, they won’t share it.
Man in store: I think I’ve heard this one.
Mom: It’s probably in a lot of languages.
Man in store: My mother always told me to share.
Somehow they understood one another. My take away was slightly different – the Mega Millions game winnings are up to $266 million, and I should get some tickets.
Since it’s so beautiful outside today, I decided to go for a walk, pick up some tickets, and maybe catch some sun. Sounds like a great plan, right? Apparently, today is not my lucky day.
So I start walking over to Pennsylvania Avenue from the Rayburn Building. After about 5 minutes, I realize that it’s blazing hot, the sun is scorching, and my skin may actually catch on fire. What’s worse, I was absolutely exhausted. Okay, no worries. I need a break.
After 10 minutes of reading, I carried on. I stopped in Gandel’s, the first place I came to on Penn Ave that sold lottery tickets. Following an annoying exchange with the vendor, who decided to wait until he rung up my tickets to tell me that it was a cash-only establishment – and I didn’t have cash – I had to find cash to pay for my tickets. I made some comment about how it would have been helpful to know this information before he rung me up, to which he said, “Mega Millions is up to $266 million. I can sell these tickets in a second.” Slow down there, killer. And not exactly my point.
Before he had a chance to sell my tickets, I got him the cash. Fine, mission accomplished. Now I just need to find a spot to sit and read my health care materials. So I go to the Starbucks. Nothing like a cold Vivanno on a hot day. Got my Vivanno and sat outside in the little Starbucks street-side cafe area. Unfortunately, I sat right next to two women who were discussing baby shower etiquette. You may not know this, but these women were aghast to learn that some people wear jeans to baby showers. All I could think was, if they bring a gift, clothes are optional. (Anyone who is heading to NJ this weekend, this applies to you… bring a gift, clothes optional.) There was also some talk about how the one woman’s mother wasn’t sure the woman should marry her fiance because the fiance’s mother is annoying. Or it was because of the jeans at the baby shower part. Not sure. But seriously, if someone having an annoying mother was a reason to back out of a marriage, would anyone get married?
Whatever, I tried to drown it all out because, while blazing hot, it was so nice to be outside in the sun reading these super interesting materials on long term care. (Yes, I’m serious.)
And then it happened. I was shit on. By a bird. Right on my hand. I cursed really loud, but no one seemed to notice the gigantic pregnant woman who was just shit on by a bird.
That’s when I threw in the towel. Clearly, this was a sign that I should not leave my desk during the day.
Of course, if all of this results in me winning the Mega Millions, all will be forgotten.