I swear, I am the last the find out everything. Seriously, EVERYTHING.
After playing t-ball with BLJ today, I needed nap. Bad. So with Kung Fu Panda on the TV (yes, I put this on intentionally… it’s a good one to sleep to) and cozied into the couch for a nap. When I work up an hour later, I started flipping through the channels and came across ABC Family, which was showing a Harry Potter movie marathon.
I’m not a huge ABC Family person, but during unemployment, I decided to see what the big deal was with Gilmore Girls. I had watched a few episodes before and didn’t love it. But there was something about the show that I liked. Maybe it was the quick dialogue. Maybe it was the wackiness of Lauren Graham. Maybe it was the witty banter. Maybe is was the terrible relationship Lorelai had with her parents. Regardless, ABC Family was showing reruns and was starting from the beginning. I decided to tune in.
Several months later, I thought I was getting close to the end of a series that, well, ended. I was looking forward to ending this virtual relationship I had developed with the Stars Hollow crowd because, you know, there’s only so much patience I have for that quick dialogue and endless witty banter now. I mean, take a fucking breath, ladies! But still, I watch – often on fast forward – because I want to see how they wrap this thing up. (Please G-d, let Lorelai’s horrendous relationship with Luke end. I can’t stand that guy and his woodsman shirt and bad-boy wannabee backward cap. I mean, a grown man with a backward cap? That’s like a grown man going by Davey or Petey or Paulie. Why?! You’re not seven anymore, sir.) Again, I’m thinking the end is approaching.
Anyway, so as I said – Kung Fu Panda ended and I tuned into ABC Family for a moment. And there it was – a commercial for a new, yes, NEW, season of Gilmore Girls.
Well, for fucks sake! I’m not sure I would have put the time into watching this show if it didn’t have an end. Again, it’s not my favorite show. I’m just sucked in now, waiting for the end to arrive. It’s sorta like that relationship you have with a friend who, you know that you have grown apart and you know that you don’t have much in common anymore and you know that the circumstances are such that you’re unlikely to get any closer any time soon but you can’t break it off yet because she’s getting married soon and you’re in the wedding. So you have to wait until a safe amount of time after the wedding to end the friendship.
C’mon – I know you know what I mean.
Anyway, this is where I was with Lorelai and Rory Gilmore. I’ve been waiting to end the relationship. But then these bastards go and throw in another season!! What the fuck?! So now, instead of being very close to the end of this TV relationship, I’m in for another several months at least. It’s like now, that friend I referenced before is pregnant and you don’t want to be the friend who dropped a friend because she’s pregnant when, of course, it’s not the pregnancy that is leading to the break up. It’s that you don’t have much in common anymore and you’ve drifted apart and, tho no bad guy, it’s time to end this thing before there is a bad guy.
Don’t look at me that way. I know you know what I mean.
Whatever. But I swear, if it goes into an eighth season, I’m out. I don’t care what’s going on. I don’t care if Lorelai and Christopher get back together and Rory finally dumps that awful blonde boyfriend of hers and rekindles her relationship with Jess, played by the handsome Heroes hero Milo Ventimiglia. I just don’t care. I’m out!
Okay, moving on…
As I mentioned, when I landed on ABC Family there was a Harry Potter movie marathon on. I love me some Harry Potter. In my half awake, half not yet awake state, I came to an amazing realization. ALJ’s husband DLJ sorta looks like a grown up Harry Potter. You know, the one we meet ever so briefly at the end of book seven. ALJ agreed with my assessment BECAUSE I AM SO G-D DAMN RIGHT!
But that wasn’t something I was the last to know about. I mean, ALJ agreed but it’s not like she said, “Yeah, been saying that for years.” The thing that I only just found out about today, also thanks to ABC Family, was that there is a new Harry Potter movie coming out on July 15.
WHAT THE… Yeah, I know. I wish I would have heard about this sooner too. I mean, what if I wanted to reread the books before the movie? I don’t have enough time for that now! And I barely can even recall the basics of book six, the book this movie is based on. Unbelievable. I guess I will have to rely on AFD and ALJ to remind me what the hell that book was about.
One of these days, I’m going to get the news first. Just you wait.