No, I am not dead. I have not been kidnapped. I have not run away to join the circus.
Pause here. I don’t care for the circus. Never have. The zoo has been redeemed for me only recently. And that’s less because of the zoo and more about BLJ.
But the circus? No way. Those sickly looking elephants. Those weird guys on stilts. The very presence of a ringmaster. WHO HAS A WHIP! And those clowns!! The worst. I can’t stand them. They freak me out.
When I was a kid, I went through this maybe-I’ll-be-the-kid-who-likes-clowns phase. I had my grandmother buy me a clown, which I perched above my bookshelf. Then I went to sleep. Or rather, tried to go to sleep. All night that thing just stared at me. Watching my every move. Just waiting to pounce.
Okay, maybe this image is more like the clowns from Killer Klowns from Outer Space. Tho meant to be a comedy horror film, it scared the shit out of me when I was a kid. And probably would do the same now.
Anyway, I don’t care for clowns. And I knew that after night one with that thing perched on my bookshelf.
Well, did you remove it, one might ask? No. I was trying to overcome my fear. So I didn’t sleep for about 4 years. This should explain a lot.
But where was I…
I have not gone missing. Well, I suppose I’ve gone missing – virtually.
Okay, that makes no sense. Going virtually missing? But you see where I’m going.
Yes, I’ve been deficient in my blogging duties. And tho I’ve received many complaints for my absence, I refuse to apologize. Think HRC and Iraq. I’m going down with this ship, baby. Pantsuit and all.
Anywho, I’m back. And I’m hoping to develop some better systems and routines that will allow me to be employed full-time, go to the gym, cook dinner, and blog all in the same day. We’ll see how it goes.