As I’ve blogged in the past, MJ, KP, and I have been watching season one of Gossip Girl. We are down to our last two episodes and decided to get together last night for tacos (MJ’s request), wine, and Blake Lively.
(Sidebar: I thought about linking a photo of the lovely Ms. Lively here and then, as I was researching online pictures of her, I realized that virtually any photo I posted would indicate that I might have a crush on her and/or I’m a massive stalker. Sooooo, I decided against it. Because not everything is for public consumption.)
Perfect night, right? Wrong.
Well, not totally wrong. We had a fun time, but not for the reasons one would think.
So the evening started out on a weird foot. I had a cold coming on and was both exhausted and slightly out of it when I got home from the supermarket. This lead me to put on my pajama pants immediately. It’s never a good sign when your host doesn’t have bona fide pants on when you arrive.
Anyway, so I started cooking, the phone kept ringing off the hook, which is not the norm as I am not a phone person, and KP and MJ arrived with wine and guac-a-molly. I was feeling overwhelmed and the cold was really not helping.
Finally, things calmed down and we decided to eat, KP allowing us one hour before starting the show.
(Sidebar: It has happened time and time again. We start talking, we continue drinking, we lose track of the time. And next thing you know, HC has arrived home and, because he has threatened to ruin our viewing experience – as the dick-ish comments he would make during the show would threaten our very relationship, I try to avoid such encounters – we don’t watch the show.)
This is where the mayhem – or was it pandemonium? – began.
So we’re sitting around the table enjoying some delicious tacos, when KP decided the get us started on another round of tacos.
Pause here for a second. I got both hard and soft shells for the tacos. I am a soft shell kinda girl and got the hard shells really just as a novelty. And good thing, because both KP and MJ wanted hard shells. I think when I asked the question – hard or soft? – they both said, in unison, “Hard.” I responded with something inappropriate like “Of course you two want it hard.”
Anyway, KP wanted to heat the shells up in the oven, because, well, that’s the way her mom makes them. Not wanting to argue with a “That’s the way my mom does it” throwdown, I put four shells in the toaster oven. Though they got a little burnt on top, the shells were heated as KP requested.
But then came round two.
KP put another four taco shells in the toaster and returned to the table. When the toaster “pinged,” KP got up to retrieve them.
KP (with increasing agitation and while doing 180 turns after each line): OH MY G-D! A taco shell is on fire. (Spinning toward MJ and me) A taco shell is on fire. (Turning back toward the toaster oven.) Oh my G-d! It’s on fire. (Turning back to MJ and me.) I don’t know what to do. (Turning back to the toaster oven.) There’s a fire. I don’t know what to do.
MJ and I were stunned and silent for most of KP’s spinning and yelling. Then it sunk in. In large part because we saw the flames leaping from the toaster oven because, by this point, all four taco shells were on fire. This is how the next few minutes went.
KP: There’s a fire. I don’t know what to do.
Me: Oh my G-d! It’s really on fire.
KP: We have to put it out.
Me: Wow, that’s really on fire.
MJ: Guys, we have to put the fire out.
KP: Do you have a fire extinguisher?
Me: I don’t know what to do.
(KP runs into the hallway to look for a fire extinguisher.)
Me (while opening the toaster oven, helping the flames grow): G-d, it’s really on fire. I don’t think it’s going out.
MJ: DON’T OPEN the toast oven! You’re fueling the fire!
Me (with towel in my hand, which I then whip at the fire in an attempt to put the fire out but which only singes the towel): Wow, this thing is really on fire. I don’t know what to do.
MJ: DON’T! Just DON’T. We have to throw water on it.
Me: I don’t know what to do, but I’m fairly certain that throwing water on a flame in a plugged in appliance is NOT the right thing to do.
KP: The fire extinguisher is locked. Do you have a key for the fire extinguisher? Why would they lock it?
MJ (with a glass of water in her hand, handing it to me): Seriously, Casey, you have to throw water on it.
Me: That doesn’t seem right.
MJ: Casey, seriously, throw the water on it.
I then proceed to throw three glasses of water into the blazing toaster oven. The fire definitely went out. And we managed NOT to electrocute ourselves. Though I have to be honest, this was NOT the right way to handle it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad we went with MJ’s water plan because at least that was a plan. But during the post mortem, we determined that salt or flour would have been better options than water. And surely, unplugging the damn thing would have been a good idea.
Needless to say, the toaster oven was, well, toast. Three of the four tacos just burned up. Here’s all that was left:
The next day, ALJ and I went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond to get a replacement toaster oven. After looking through the selection, ALJ and I each bought a convection oven/toaster oven that has the following warning on the glass door:
In the event of a food flare-up keep door closed and unplug power cord.
Great… that would have been helpful the day before.