I’ve never claimed to be the world’s best conversationalist. But there was a time when I could have a conversation with a stranger with (relative) ease. Better yet, I could walk away from said conversation without the voices in my head going crazy.
But such is not the case these days.
As part of my new year’s resolution, and my decision to start enjoying my time off from work (because, I mean, how often do we have large periods of time off of work without much responsibility?), I agreed to go to a stranger’s birthday party with DB on Friday night and a party at a KW’s house on Saturday.
At both parties, I made an ass out of myself. Turns out that I can’t seem to talk about anything other than insane and inane things.
Example 1: At the birthday party, I actually spent considerable time talking to the one non-political, non-lawyer guy at the party about – wait for it – infomercials. Yeah, infomercials. Like for 25 minutes. How the fuck can a non-lobotomized person talk about infomercials for more than 5 minutes, let alone 25 minutes?! I think I scared the man. And I know I scared myself… and DB’s husband.
Example 2: At KW’s party, I stepped it up. I spent easily 40 minutes talking again to the sole non-political, non-lawyer guy – MG’s brother, LG, whom I’ve known for years – and CC about nonsense. Seriously, nonsense. First, I recounted my NetFlix discovery from earlier that day and praised the LOGO documentaries a little too forcefully. Next, I went on and on and on and on about the documentaries that I like to watch. (I actually said something like, “I don’t like to learn anything when watching a documentary. I want to see a story about average people doing extraordinary things.” Can someone please tell me what the fuck that means?!) Then I rounded out this wacky conversation by discussing the 1970’s women-focused TV shows, like Charlie’s Angels and Wonder Woman.
LG and CC may never talk to me again. And they wouldn’t be blamed. And I can’t even say that I was drunk. I just have nothing to contribute to a conversation.
So before I venture outside the house again, I need more material. I decided that reading a book might help. Let’s see how that goes.