My cousin called me yesterday to discuss the car crash. One of the first things out of her mouth was, “If it wasn’t for bad luck, you’d have no luck at all. I don’t know who you pissed off, but you better hope this ends soon.”
This surmises 2008 for me. Don’t get me wrong. Some of 2008 was good. Actually, while there were some bad things mixed in there – the job I hated and the bullshit that went on there, for example – the first six months of 2008 weren’t that bad, really. In fact, I think I might have experienced happiness in those months. And I can definitely come up with a few (though maybe only 2) positives for July and August. So maybe, in retrospect, really it was just September through that blew.
But boy, it blew hard.
I don’t know what it was about the final quarter of 2008, but it seems like everyone I know has been dealing with something difficult or traumatic. Perhaps this was all the result of that little deal we made with the devil. You know, the one where we were willing to barter any and every thing so that Barack Obama would be our president, and, almost as importantly, Sarah Palin would NOT be our vice president.
But seriously, if one more person tells me how their best days are behind them or that they haven’t had a happy holiday season in years, I might lose it.
Look, I have been a big downer lately, and the holidays can be frustrating for me even when I’m in a good place. But good lord! If at 32 I can’t imagine better days ahead, I might as well just give up right now. Even as things around me – both for me and for people I love – seem grim or are in flux, it can’t be that good times don’t lie ahead. And frankly, while the we’re-all-gonna-die mentality may feel good in the short run, it will actually kill you in the long run.
So it’s new years’ resolution time. Normally, I don’t do things like this because, let’s me honest, it’s weird and I’ve never actually followed through. I don’t think. But my pessimism aside, I’m going for it. A resolution. And I will do my best to achieve it.
I’m going to put an end to my grim outlook. I’m going to accept that brighter days lie ahead. Because I believe that the best of life can be found over good food and drink with friends and family who love you, not in spite of your limitations but because of them, I am going to focus on the people and things that enrich my life. I’m NOT going to dwell and wallow. I mean, I probably will a little bit. But I plan to focus on the positive… you know, as best I can.