So where were we? Oh, yes. I crashed. The car wasn’t drivable and I was waiting for a tow.
Okay, so the folks in the SUV were super nice. They were from Long Island and were on their way to Baltimore. They seemed sickeningly in love. They kept hugging and kissing. I’m not a prude. I just don’t see how the situation the three of us found ourselves in could make you feel randy. I’m sure that they are either newly dating or were both escaping a spouse and were on their way to Baltimore for a tryst. Not that I would imagine Baltimore is a hot spot for trysts. Don’t get me wrong – after The Wire, I LOVE Baltimore. But not sure it’s billed as a location for lovers to rendezvous. In any event, the making out seemed a little weird. HC and I have been together for nearly 10 years now and I can all but guarantee that, if he was present, there would not have been any PDA with us.
But back to the story.
I realize that I am in Maryland somewhere and will need to contact someone to get me. I call MJ. MJ is from outside of Baltimore and told me she was going to be at her mom’s place for the holiday. So I gave it a shot.
First call, she hung up on me. Okay, that didn’t go well. So I called again. Second call went way better. You know, she didn’t hang up on me. I explained the situation, she agreed to come get me. I continued to wait for the tow.
After waiting on the side of the road for about forty-five minutes to an hour, the tow comes and gets me. I think, great – he’ll take me to his shop where they can do the work and I’ll have MJ pick me up there. It’s like a Christmas miracle. Perfect.
No, not perfect.
Tow Truck Guy explains that he is bringing my car to his lot but that nothing can happen with the car until Monday at the earliest. Oh, and he informed me that I couldn’t wait at the lot.
Me: So where am I supposed to go?
TTG: I don’t know, but you can’t wait at the lot.
Me: So where am I supposed to tell my friend to meet me?
TTG: I can drop you off somewhere.
[Sidebar: If a Tow Truck Guy says to you “I can drop you off somewhere” please don’t mistake this for being helpful. What Tow Truck Guy means is “I will drop you off at the first semi-lite, semi-safe spot I can find and then I’m leaving you and all your stuff there while you wait. Alone.” Because this is what happened.]
Me: Yeah, but I have tons of stuff in the car.
[Sidebar: I had tons of stuff in the car. Christmas gifts, my luggage, HC’s crap. Okay, you’d expect all that. But I also had three boxes of stuff that I still hadn’t taken out of the car from when I moved back from Nebraska, AND I had all this food and wine. My mother always tries to send me home with food. Normally, I decline. It’s messy, you never know how well something is going to be refrigerated, and I hate carting all this stuff back and forth. Because please believe that woman wants her tupperware back. But in the winter, I will do it. Refrigeration is less a problem. And I told SC that I would bring her back lasagna. So I had a pan of lasagna, two vegetable breads that are based on my family’s sausage bread but without meat for HC, a bag of my mom’s Christmas cookies, a container of homemade chicken soup which was delicious, a container of homemade tomato sauce – also delicious, a container of breaded broccoli, and a container with 20 bread balls. Bread balls are based on meatballs, but are made with bread crumbs. HC and his no-meat experiment has caused my family to resurrect this little treat, which we had all forgotten about. So you can see, the car was LOADED.]
TTG: Well, you want to get it out.
Me: Um, yeah, but where am I supposed to go.
TTG: I’ll drop you somewhere.
Great – so we’re back to that again. Fine. I called MJ and told her that TTG was dropping me and all my stuff at a local rest stop called the Perryville Travel Plaza. MJ said she would head out.
MJ was on her way and was able to get me to Baltimore. She very kindly offered to let me stay with her at her mom’s place, but I desperately wanted to get home. You know, the whole sleep in my own bed thing. So I called SC. I was starting to feel pretty broken at this point and asked SC if she would come to get me. I sounded so pathetic. I was so pathetic. SC said yes. She started to ask me some logistical questions. I just couldn’t do it. I explained that I didn’t know where I was, my phone was dying, and could she please call MJ to coordinate. SC agreed – thank G-d – and I continued along with TTG.
TTG and I get to the Perryville Travel Plaza. He tells me that I should go through the car and take whatever I want. I start unloading the car. Ridiculous. TTG helped, but still – ridiculous.